{"id":5067,"date":"2011-02-26T14:24:00","date_gmt":"2011-02-26T20:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ishmaels.net\/blog\/?p=5067"},"modified":"2011-02-26T14:24:00","modified_gmt":"2011-02-26T20:24:00","slug":"more-great-reads-from-the-arrl-and-kb0h-thanks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/2011\/02\/26\/more-great-reads-from-the-arrl-and-kb0h-thanks\/","title":{"rendered":"More great reads from the ARRL and KB0H\u2026 thanks"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Amateur Amateur: The Net Controller\u2019s Speech<\/h4>\n

TAGS:<\/strong> ares<\/a>, Gary Hoffman<\/a>, ham radio operator<\/a>, minutes<\/a>, net control operator<\/a><\/p>\n

02\/22\/2011<\/p>\n

By Gary Hoffman, KB0H
Contributing Editor<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve probably heard something surprising on the air. It may have been something unpleasant, like cursing or an off-color joke. It may have been an unexpected opportunity, such as a close-out sale at a local electronic store. Or it may have been something more shocking, like hearing that a friend has been hospitalized. But what goes through your head when you hear someone having a stroke right on the air?<\/i><\/p>\n

It was me, and before I go any further, I\u2019ll put your mind at ease and let you know that I wasn\u2019t actually having a stroke. It only sounded like it.<\/p>\n

The setting: My basement shack on a Wednesday evening. I was the net control operator for the St Louis County ARES weekly 2 meter voice net.<\/p>\n

Everything was fine for the first few minutes. As I often do, I was sucking on a cough drop to keep my mouth moist. I was reading from my net script, just tooling along like I\u2019ve done dozens of times before.<\/p>\n

Only this time the words weren\u2019t coming out right. The letter S sounded more like SH. Sharp sounds were beginning to sound all sloppy. And when I tried to give the ARES group\u2019s Web site address, www.stlares.org<\/a><\/b> — it came out as \u201cdubboo dubboo dubboo dot esh tee ehwwlll ay are ee esh dot oh are zzhheeee.\u201d I kept trying to get that last letter out correctly, repeating it over and over again like a broken record. \u201cZheeee. Zzzzhhhheeeee. Zzzzzzzzzzzzhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.\u201d<\/p>\n

Frustrated, I called the backup net controller (we always have one) and asked him to take over. \u201cI\u2019ve losshht my abiwity to shhpeak creawry,\u201d I said. The backup operator jumped in and picked up the net where I\u2019d left off.<\/p>\n

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.<\/a><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n

I did not realize how much panic I\u2019d just caused. Everything on the air seemed to be going smoothly. But at least one<\/strong> listener was scrambling to find my home phone number so she could call my wife<\/strong> and let her know that I was in the basement having a stroke.<\/p>\n

Curiously, I wasn\u2019t thinking along those lines at all. I was puzzled as to why my mouth wouldn\u2019t work like it was supposed to, but having no headache, pain, paralysis or any other symptoms, it never occurred to me that something Really Bad might be happening.<\/p>\n

Being a typical ham radio<\/strong> operator, I started to analyze the problem<\/strong>. And as is usually the case, I came to the wrong conclusion. I read the words \u201coral anesthetic\u201d on the bag of cough drops. Aha! The cough drops made my mouth go all wonky! I thought. I spit out the one<\/strong> I was sucking on.<\/p>\n

Several minutes and many oral exercises later, it seemed as if my speech had returned to normal. www.stlares.org<\/a><\/b>. \u201cOh are gee. Gee. Gee. Gee.\u201d Much better. I checked in to the net as a regular participant. When asked for comments, with crisp enunciation I announced that I was all right, that some off-brand cough drops had caused my mouth to momentarily go numb.<\/p>\n

As soon as the net finished, a number of folks called and told me how relieved they were that I was okay. I thanked them for their concern and thought nothing more about the incident.<\/p>\n

A few days later I found that I had been entirely wrong about the cough drops. It seemed that my mouth went all sloppy any time<\/strong> that I ate something, and stayed that way for perhaps half an hour. The symptoms weren\u2019t consistent, but that\u2019s what happened in general.<\/p>\n

Without going into a lot of medical history, I\u2019ll just say that earlier in the year I\u2019d suffered some small \u201cevents\u201d that had caused me to have double vision for several weeks. The vision had cleared up by itself. I now believed that this new symptom, which I called \u201crubber mouth,\u201d was related to the earlier problem<\/strong>. Unlike the double vision, however, I feared that the rubber mouth problem<\/strong> was here to stay.<\/p>\n

That was a depressing thought. I was a ham radio<\/strong> operator. More than that, my niche was emergency communications. Clear, concise, understandable communications. What could I do if I were deployed? Talk on the radio<\/strong> for five minutes and then take half-hour breaks to wait for my mouth to return to normal? And as the ARES net manager, how could urge my cadre of net controllers to use \u201ccleeewwrr conshisshhe commooonicassshhhhunsshhh\u201d?<\/p>\n

The Prisoner<\/a><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n

The first thing<\/strong> I did was to remove the cough drops from my shack. They weren\u2019t really the cause of the problem, but just looking at them made sweat break out on my forehead.<\/p>\n

The second thing<\/strong> I did was to take a bottle of water down to the shack just before starting a net. It wasn\u2019t a cure, but sipping water did seem to get my mouth back in working order for a minute or two. During a half-hour net I gulped down quite a lot of it.<\/p>\n

The third thing<\/strong> that I did was try not to consume anything just before getting on the air. That proved difficult, as my wife<\/strong> and I have busy work schedules and we have only a narrow window of opportunity to prepare and eat dinner on Wednesday evenings.<\/p>\n

Well, we do the best we can. My subsequent stints as net controller weren\u2019t disastrous, but my speech was still far from crisp. I was embarrassed, and I knew that many net participants were feeling sorry for me.<\/p>\n

Those were bad days. Mentally I felt fine, but verbally feared that I sounded somewhat drunk. A lot of folks have successfully dealt with speech impediments, but this was all new to me. Could I adjust? I just didn\u2019t know. I was not at all happy.<\/p>\n

The Avengers<\/a><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n

And then something strange happened. One evening I was unable to take my medications; everyone my age<\/strong> has a bucket-load of pills that they take every day<\/strong>. That\u2019s not really a cause for alarm. One day<\/strong> without meds is no big deal. But I also missed a second day\u2026<\/p>\n

..and on the third day<\/strong> I felt more alert than I\u2019d felt in months. More alive. Even more productive! I felt so good that after work I took Nancy my wife<\/strong> out to dinner. We sat in the restaurant, eating and chatting and laughing. And suddenly I had an urge to verbalize the ARES website address. This didn\u2019t alarm my wife, as she\u2019d become accustomed to hearing me \u201ctest\u201d my speech from time<\/strong> to time<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\u201cwww.stlares.org<\/a><\/b>,\u201d I said in a clear voice. \u201cGood grief, I can speak!\u201d<\/p>\n

Nancy nodded and said, \u201cNot only that, you look different. You\u2019d been looking like one<\/strong> of those runny-faced characters in the Dick Tracy comic strip. Now you look and sound like Robert Vaughn<\/a> again.\u201d (Nancy and I dated back during the era of spy movies. Robert Vaughn was The Man from U.N.C.L.E.<\/a><\/i> And I always thought she looked like Diana Rigg<\/a>, Mrs Peel<\/a> from The Avengers<\/a><\/i>.)<\/p>\n

That was just about the sexiest thing<\/strong> she could have said to me. I sat up straight and gave her my best steely-eyed gaze.<\/p>\n

What had happened? Why had I suddenly gone from Puddle-Face to Napoleon Solo?<\/p>\n

\u201cThe medications!\u201d we both said in unison.<\/p>\n

Sure enough, it was one<\/strong> of my daily pills. Thinking back, I had, indeed, started taking a new pill right<\/strong> around the time<\/strong> that my speech had become slurred.<\/p>\n

I talked to my doctor the next day<\/strong> and was immediately switched to a different, much more innocuous medication.<\/p>\n

Now my speech is back to normal, thank goodness. When it\u2019s my turn to be net controller, I find myself speaking a little sharper than normal, as if I\u2019m trying to undo my earlier sad performance. It feels great.<\/p>\n

Maybe, just maybe, I\u2019ll put the cough drops back in the shack.<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s note: ARRL member Gary Hoffman, KB0H, lives in Florissant, Missouri. He\u2019s been a ham since 1995. Hoffman says his column\u2019s name — \u201cThe Amateur Amateur\u201d — suggests the explorations of a rank amateur, not those of an experienced or knowledgeable ham. His wife, Nancy, is N0NJ. Hoffman has aham-related web page<\/a>. Readers are invited to contact the author via e-mail<\/a>.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Amateur Amateur: The Net Controller\u2019s Speech <\/p>\n

TAGS: ares, Gary Hoffman, ham radio operator, minutes, net control operator<\/p>\n

02\/22\/2011<\/p>\n

By Gary Hoffman, KB0H Contributing Editor<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve probably heard something surprising on the air. It may have been something unpleasant, like cursing or an off-color joke. It may have been an unexpected opportunity, such as a close-out sale at a local electronic store. Or it may have been something more shocking, like hearing that a friend has been hospitalized. But what goes through your head when you hear someone having a stroke right on the air?<\/p>\n

It was me, and before I go any further, I\u2019ll put your mind at ease and let you know that I wasn\u2019t actually having a stroke. It only sounded like <\/p>\n

“And Now the Rest of the Story – “More great reads from the ARRL and KB0H\u2026 thanks<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5067","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","odd"],"yoast_head":"\nMore great reads from the ARRL and KB0H\u2026 thanks - And That was How it Went<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/2011\/02\/26\/more-great-reads-from-the-arrl-and-kb0h-thanks\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"More great reads from the ARRL and KB0H\u2026 thanks - And That was How it Went\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Amateur Amateur: The Net Controller\u2019s Speech TAGS: ares, Gary Hoffman, ham radio operator, minutes, net control operator 02\/22\/2011 By Gary Hoffman, KB0H Contributing Editor You\u2019ve probably heard something surprising on the air. It may have been something unpleasant, like cursing or an off-color joke. It may have been an unexpected opportunity, such as a close-out sale at a local electronic store. Or it may have been something more shocking, like hearing that a friend has been hospitalized. But what goes through your head when you hear someone having a stroke right on the air? It was me, and before I go any further, I\u2019ll put your mind at ease and let you know that I wasn\u2019t actually having a stroke. 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He was a gentleman in his 90's and included a short letter with his QSL card. His letter mentioned a few things about his life during World War II and a few of his Hamming experiences.","rel":"","context":"In "Hobbies"","block_context":{"text":"Hobbies","link":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/category\/hobbies\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1600,"url":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/2010\/08\/17\/some-amateurs-are-real-hams\/","url_meta":{"origin":5067,"position":1},"title":"Some Amateurs are real HAMS","author":"wd0ajg","date":"August 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Have you ever wondered who these folks are they call Ham Operators? or Amateur Radio Operators? Well, here is your personal invitation to join a friendly high-tech hobby that has something for nearly every member of the family. Regardless of your age, you can become a radio amateur operator. Its\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Hobbies"","block_context":{"text":"Hobbies","link":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/category\/hobbies\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3217,"url":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/2010\/11\/06\/did-you-read-the-last-manual-i-didnt-think-so\/","url_meta":{"origin":5067,"position":2},"title":"Did you read that last Manual? I didn’t think so.","author":"wd0ajg","date":"November 6, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"The Amateur Amateur: The Manual -- and Why We Don\u2019t Read ItTAGS:\u00a0Gary Hoffman,\u00a0KB0H Contributing Editor,\u00a0remote control11\/06\/2010By Gary Hoffman, KB0H Contributing EditorI bought a DVD player yesterday. It had a manual, of course, but it also had a Quick Start guide. The Quick Start guide showed me everything I needed to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Hobbies"","block_context":{"text":"Hobbies","link":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/category\/hobbies\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2185,"url":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/2010\/09\/24\/practical-uses-of-the-solar-ham-radio\/","url_meta":{"origin":5067,"position":3},"title":"Practical Uses of the Solar Ham Radio","author":"wd0ajg","date":"September 24, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"At some point I have stated that I would like to use solar but the economics of it are just not at a point for me to jump off on that (See post). Until they get the cost per watt much closer to the cost we now pay it only\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Hobbies"","block_context":{"text":"Hobbies","link":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/category\/hobbies\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1252,"url":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/2010\/08\/05\/put-your-amateur-radio-license-to-good-use-participate-in-a-public-service-event\/","url_meta":{"origin":5067,"position":4},"title":"Put Your Amateur Radio License to Good Use – Participate in a Public Service Event","author":"wd0ajg","date":"August 5, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Non-profit organizations hold numerous walks and rides throughout the summer. Some of those require radio communications support. Ham radio operators gladly provide that service at no cost to event organizers. Public service events allow them to give back to their communities as they continue to hone their radio operating skills.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Ham Radio"","block_context":{"text":"Ham Radio","link":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/category\/hobbies\/ham-radio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1174,"url":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/2010\/07\/26\/ham-radio-special-event-stations\/","url_meta":{"origin":5067,"position":5},"title":"Ham Radio Special Event Stations","author":"Dave Glass","date":"July 26, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Amateur Radio Operators coming into this hobby, contact with these stations will give them a chance to operate on different frequencies, as well as experience operating in different modes on their new radios.","rel":"","context":"In "Hobbies"","block_context":{"text":"Hobbies","link":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/category\/hobbies\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5067","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5067"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5067\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5067"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5067"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ishmaels.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5067"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}